King of the Morons

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Those who follow Scottish politics will probably be familiar with the Stan Laurel type character of Willie Rennie, leader of what’s left of the LibDems in the Scottish Parliament. He’s not only a pretty ineffective politician, he also can’t work Strava, incriminating himself by driving at over 80mph after forgetting to stop the app recording data before he got into his car. He also looks to have bagged himself a couple of King of the Mountains’, while crowning himself ‘King of the Morons’. I think I’ll award a prize for the biggest numpty on Strava, it may take some pretty spectacular action to beat this guy though, but I’m sure somebody will. But for now, Willie Rennie, you are ‘King of the Morons’.

Here’s the story on STV news, and in case you really don’t know what Strava is, read this previous blog for details.

Strava For Dummies

Follow a few simple Strava rules to keep yourself & your bikes safe.

Do’s:

  • Set up privacy on your home location, without this you’re making it obvious to everybody exactly where you keep your bikes. The thieves can see the trail running right to your shed, sometimes the accuracy of GPS works against you.
  • Set up privacy on your work location if you ride to work, otherwise those pesky thieves know where you chain your bike up.
  • Use your Strava data as a training tool, base your performances against yourself, not the local pro, that’ll just destroy your motivation.
  • Switch on the enhanced privacy, so that you can approve your followers, you don’t want everybody seeing where you are. It also abbreviates your name on KOM’s to logged out users. Basic, but not excessive, data protection & privacy for you.

Dont’s:

  • Don’t list your bikes details, if you do, you’re publishing a shopping list for thieves to come & help themselves. If you’ve not set up privacy around your home, and you’ve listed the bikes, I will forward you on an email I got about an African Prince who died in a plane crash. They want to find find someone in UK with a bank account who will be willing to place $10million dollars in it, I’ve got too much money through these schemes, so I thought I’d pass it on to you. Email me your bank details & I’ll put you in touch.
  • Don’t leave it gathering data when you’re in the car. The big red button on the app starts & stops it, learn to use that or you’ll start upsetting everybody with King of the Mountains taken in your car, or worse still publish your law breaking & speeding online for everybody to see. An incredibly stupid thing to do, especially if you’re a public figure.
  • Don’t turn group rides into Strava King of the Mountain sector hunts, unless you’ve agreed this is what you’ll do. If you start blasting away from your former buddies on every sector, well, you’re as arsehole.
  • Don’t link it to your Twitter & Facebook accounts, it makes you look like a maniac & also lets people know that the lie you told to get out of that social engagement was actually just to go training.

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